so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
