it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
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Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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