it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
