Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
the day after is always just damage control
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize