i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
