we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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