Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize