I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
