I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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