I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
