where am i from again
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
