i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
