Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
