are you still at the devil's house?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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