belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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