After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
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you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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