PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
