I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
