He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
