here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
