he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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