It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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