i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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