Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
