so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
