I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
