she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We need to rekindle our bromance
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
