Can i not drive my cunt home
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
