I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
