Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
