That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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