btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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