Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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