yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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