Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
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