I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
