I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
