Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The power of my boobs compel you
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
