why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
