I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
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She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
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So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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