dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
