Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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