they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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