Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
