if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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