the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
