? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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