i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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