Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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