If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
