I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
