do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
