I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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