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dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
