I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
the raccoons are back...
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