dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
