So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
