this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
