batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
