This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's rum buckets o'clock
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
