He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
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i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
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how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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