I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
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My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
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We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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