good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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