shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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